According to early reports, writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman are being paid $8 million to write the sequel to Michael Bay’s Transformers. The pair wrote the first movie as well as Michael Bay crapfest The Island and the J.J. Abrams directed Mission Impossible III.

How hard is that?

CITY - EXT. DAY
Buildings are blowing up, people are screaming and cars are flying through the air. We see our hero running hand-in-hand with the female lead while a slow-motion explosion chases behind them.

HERO
Come on, we need to get to the end of the screen to put OBJECT A into OBJECT B or the villains win!

FEMALE LEAD
You're right hero, we need to go now! But first.

We pull back as the two main characters embrace and kiss at the most inappropriate time, explosions engulfing them in chaotic beauty.

Cue music consisting of either current hip-hop star or rock-rap duo.

Where’s my $8 million damn it!