No. 2,999

Tobey McGuire is a dick! The dude wasn't even paparazzi, just a fan. Granted he could have asked first, but that was no reason to give him a Spider Slap.

Only one post left.

I want this dude's life.

I have a copy of Vagabonding which is next on the 'To Read' list after The Road by Cormac McCarthy and some movie scripts. Depending on how much money I have after graduation and after cashing out my 401K, I plan on trying to do what Potts did (or does). Basically being a hobo of the world and writing about it. I've got no ties these days (much to my chagrin) and no permanent residence, why not just travel and soak up existence.

First step is the sheepskin, teaching English with in Korea in 2008 and possibly elsewhere, and then we'll see where things go from there. Things are wide open and good, I just wish that I didn't always focus on the fact that I lack a running mate these days. That would only hold me back, unless of course she had as much wanderlust as I do. Fuck careers. Fuck credit. Fuck homeowner's associations. Life is waiting, who needs creditors holding you back?

Life tastes great.

Eat it.

Digest it.

Shit it out.

Believing your own bullshit is the most difficult thing in the world to swallow. Who needs a drink?

FADE IN:

INT - STEVE'S BEDROOM - EARLY EVENING

We open on STEVE pacing his cluttered and mildly disheveled bedroom, obviously bored. The room isn't messy in a gross, frat-boy kind of way, but just cluttered and very lived in. Books lay strewn about along with piles of papers, magazines and newspapers. A movie plays on the TV as STEVE sits in a worn office chair and flips open his laptop computer, the pale blue of the screen reflecting off of his face. A glass of red wine sits next to him. We circle around behind him and follow along as he types a random journal entry.

STEVE (V.O.)
I went to see a movie today in the early afternoon. Who would have thought that a Saturday matinée showing of a month-old film would be so full. The company made me uncomfortable, as I expected a certain level of solitude. I hate the sound of greedy mouths munching popcorn, of the post-preview whispers of people talking about what they are and are not going to see and of the forced laughter at things that aren't funny.

STEVE looks up and regards the movie playing for a moment. We hear the sound of someone vacuuming in the other room.

STEVE (V.O.)
(continuing typing)
During the movie a fire alarm went off and we had to exit out the back. The ushers came in and assured us that it was a false alarm and to go back into the theater. While we waited for the feature to resume I heard some of the chatty Cathys talking about how they'd heard that "CIA guy" talking about terrorist cells in the U.S. I assume she was referring to ex-CIA director George Tenet since he's been in the news lately. While that thought is a genuine one, I thought to myself 'Why would terrorists want to disrupt your afternoon viewing of The Hoax?' I'm sure it would send quite the message to G.W., but I imagine they'd have better targets to hit than a theater in Winter Park.

STEVE hears a rapping at his window and sees a young Italian kid sitting outside his window looking determined to come in. This is VINNIE DELPINO.

STEVE
What the fuck!?

EXT - HOUSE - NIGHT

We're looking over the shoulder of VINNIE into STEVE's room, we see STEVE typing at his computer.

VINNIE
Eh Doog, you home? I got some lame teenage problem that only a red-headed prodigy like yourself can give me advice on.

STEVE
Hey I think you want the Howsers, two houses down. Now get the fuck out of my yard before I call the police.

INT - STEVE'S ROOM - NIGHT

We hear some strange electric piano tune that sounds like it's being played on a circa 1980s CASIO. STEVE takes a drink of wine and turns back to his computer.

STEVE (V.O.)
What the fuck was that all about?

This odd interruption shakes STEVE from what he is doing and he realizes the absurdity of writing a post within a post. He sets his computer down and turns his attention back to watching NOTES ON A SCANDAL, the movie that's been playing. Outside we hear a woman scream.

Women's Voice (O.S.)
Someone call the police, there's a short Italian boy breaking in to the Howser's window.

We hear a gunshot.

VINNIE (O.S.)
Shut the hell up lady before I whack you. I was on The Sopranos bitch, I got no problem burying you. Doog, open the fucking window we gotta talk! You owe me money you spoiled shit.

FADE OUT.

P.S. Notes on a Scandal is far better than I thought it would be.

Someone tell me what is wrong with this wonderful Bushism:

After warning that if the legislators "want to try again" and send him another version with a similar withdrawal provision, he would veto that one too, he said, "I'm optimistic we can get a bill, a good bill, and a bill that satisfies all our objectives, and that’s to get the money to the troops as quickly as possible."

Hmm, and let me guess that if Congress keeps presenting bills that Bush vetoes it will be the fault of the Democrats and proponents of the bill that (that does give the troops the funds they need) are keeping the funding from the troops, not the turd-burger in office that continues to stop it.

Nice frame, where'd you get it Wal-mart?

With the prospect of Bush vetoing the bill approved by both the Senate and the House, today's Dictionary.com word-of-the-day seems oddly appropriate.

And recognizing car-bombings as violence only emboldens the enemy. So minus all of the car/suicide-bombings, Iraq is super-safe. Let's go to the market, 10 rugs for a $1!!

I believe the gentle term for the phone call I just had would be “HOLY-FUCKING-SHIT!”

I ended up talking to the CEO and president of No Sweat Apparel for over 30 minutes. He told me a little about the company, his recent travels to Palestine and what he is looking for in the blogging arena. The thing is, they have a great story. Through the company's mission statement of making clothes in ethically sound conditions they are creating a bridge between cultures and religions and creating jobs for those without. It at first sounds hokey, but it's a story and battle that is continuing every day.

This is a quick clip of Neiman and what they are doing in Palestine:

He wants me to create a blog that tells their story past, present and of course future and will ultimately sell product. Since it is such a progressive movement and a story that has far-reaching and ever changing goals, I think it is something that would be great to get into. This really is right up my alley.

The best part, he said that if the blog works and it gets the story across translating into Internet driven media-attention and sales, it could possibly become a part-time or full-time paid position. Hey, you need some grassroots journalism from one of the Palestinian plants? I'm so there. He then asked if I'd ever been to Boston before, where the company is located. He said I should come up and check out the company. Looks like my summer trip plans may have just changed.

He's sending me a press-kit and I'm supposed to shoot some ideas back at him this weekend. To say I'm giddy and excited (and a little bit scared) would be an understatement. Who'd have thought a simple email inquiry could turn into this so quick?

So I've been corresponding with this guy named Adam from No Sweat Apparel regarding the blogging gig. He asked for examples of stuff I've worked on and I sent them to him. He seemed pleased and impressed and said he would call this evening to sort out some details and get a feel if I would be an appropriate fit for the company.

All this time I assumed 'Adam' was simply an HR guy or the web designer. Then, on his most recent email he signed his full name–Adam Neiman.

Turns out I've been talking to the founder, president and CEO of the company this entire time. Well that's fucking interesting man.

This may turn out cooler than I thought.

What's with today, today? Some things:

• Firefox Portable running off my USB drive at work is teh awesome-ness.

• I may (though we're still in the talking stages) become the blogger for No Sweat Apparel in order to help them spread their message of sweatshop free, pro-union clothing. The gig carries a $150 clothing allowance, sweet!
• My boss is getting me a new monitor for some newer job responsibilities and I got to choose between a 19″ regular or widescreen aspect ratio (I'm going with the widescreen). Even though banking and finance is not my preferred forté, every day I'm at this job makes me want to stay more and more.
• My eyes are getting really bad, I feel like Hans Moleman. Robin, to the optometrist!
• Took a lot of pictures this weekend with the old-school Minolta. I love it but am still pretty green when it comes to manual photography. I can't wait to see how horrible they all came out.
• I've been in screenplay junkie mode the past week and a half. I've read about 10 or so and checked out some from the library, downloaded a ton from the intarweb, and printed out a bunch as well. It's show time.
• My good friend Jonas' wife just got an agent (she's an actress, or would like to be) so they want me to write her a monologue to use in auditions or to practice at home. What's a good length for a monologue, three minutes, four? How do you gauge that in word count?
• There is no spoon…so use your fucking fingers.

-Fin

Stephen Colbert vs. Sean Penn in the Meta-Free-Phor-All.

More awesome than you, you and yes, even you.

No. 2,991

Via Crooks & Liars via WBBM780:

An anti-gay religious group known for protesting at the funerals of American soldiers killed in Iraq is planning on appearing at services for those killed on Monday as well.

The Topeka, Kan.-based Westboro Baptist Church (WBC), which is not affiliated with any national Baptist organization, announced plans to protest at victims' funerals only hours after 32 people were killed in the worst mass shooting in U.S. history. They also may protest at other events on the Virginia Tech campus.

The organization, founded and led by Fred Phelps, believes the United States has condemned itself to destruction by accepting homosexuality and other "sins of the flesh." Phelps' daughter, Shirley Phelps-Roper, said the Virginia Tech teachers and students who died on Monday brought their fate upon themselves by not being true Christians.

"The evidence is they were not Christian. God does not do that to his servants," Phelps-Roper said. "You don't need to look any further for evidence those people are in hell."

Cho Seung-Hui, the Virginia Tech student responsible for the killings who took his own life after the shootings, was sent by God to punish those he killed, and America as a whole, for moral decline, said Phelps-Roper, while adding that she believes Cho is also in hell for violating God's commandment to not kill.

"He is in hell," Phelps-Roper said. "But he was also fulfilling the word of God."

So if that's the case, are they calling that kid a soldier of God? These people are so fucking whacked it makes me queasy.

Landlord.

Suicide Food blog

Pure, demented genius.

The first person that makes a 4/20 joke or says “happy four-twenty!” is getting slapped in the mouth.

Grow up.

I'm sort of not too proud of the homeland right now. (I know it's not actually my homeland because I was born in the US but so what, I still got ties [pun intended]).

Call me an asshole but I really hate 'Candlelit Vigils' and all of the bullshit posturing people do after a tragedy like this happens. All of the fancy little speeches, somber words, gross speculation and obligatory vigils by people that knew somebody that knew somebody that knew somebody that went V-Tech aren't going to explain how something like this happened nor bring back those that were killed.

It's a horrible act, there is no doubt about that, but horrible acts are a part of our society. Violent incidents like these are a side-effect of community and have been throughout history, it's just that our technology for killing has become more effective. This was the act of one man spurned on by his own motives and desires, of which no one will truly ever know. Nor does it do any good now to look at the shooter's writings and try and figure it out. Hindsight is always 20/20 and now his teachers and fellow students are coming out saying how “messed up” he was. Well a lot of good that does now. Perhaps if we didn't have such a passive, “someone else will do something” attitude all of the time, then perhaps this could have been avoided. Yet even that small amount of speculation is pointless.

Even more pointless however is pointing the finger at video games and gun laws, it does nothing. If guns had been more harder to obtain, he probably still would have been able to get them because they exist and he wanted them bad enough. If the other kids were able to have guns by legal means then you would have had 20 gunmen running around and who knows what kind of chaos would have ensued. I've heard that “we need more guns” argument a few times already and it makes me want slap a bitch.

We are merely victims of our own technological advancement coupled with the desire to create more effective ways of “protecting ourselves.”

There is no clear answer forthcoming, and there is no solution. Just like the 'War on Drugs' and the 'War on Terrorism', you can't declare a 'War on Violence'. It's an abstract that can't be solved.

The fact is, this fucked up thing happened. Is it sad? Hell yes it is. Could it have been prevented? No one really knows. The only thing that can be controlled at this point is our reaction to it and how we let it affect our world. We are a creature bent on destroying itself by one means or another, it is an inevitability. Judgment day or Armageddon may in fact be a reality, but it will not come in the form of a bearded zombie sweeping up believers and leaving us behind with Kirk Cameron, it will be a mushroom cloud on the horizon and a shotgun blast in the face from your neighbor.

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