31 May 06 Q is for Quagmire.

U.S. troops kill pregnant woman in Iraq.

Get them insurgents while they're young I suppose. I guess this is some of that good news out of Iraq that Bush keeps saying that they should report on?

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31 May 06 I think she's finally gone off the deep end.

Mariah Carey Insures Her Legs For…'One Billion Dollars'.

There's a serious disturbance in the force of the world when things like this happen. Raise your hand if you'd like to just slap the shit out of her. Exhaustion my foot, that bitch is plum loco.

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31 May 06 ad space.

Is it just me, or does this banner ad for www.girlsgotech.org seem to depict a young lady in the throes of an orgasm?

I think we know what kind of tech they're referring to (NSFW).

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30 May 06 love is a mystery.

30 May 06 Wish you were her.

The one thing that sucks about being on vacation is knowing that there is no one back home missing you (parents don't count). I wish there was. When I first planned this trip I thought there would be, but that went rather sour. What can you do? You certainly can't make people see the error of their ways and make them see what they are missing out on and throwing away.

Good thing is you can buy beer and wine 24/7 in Myrtle Beach at the Bi Lo. Yoo! You've got to take the good with the bad I suppose.

Tomorrow is Wilmington, Jonas (my hetero lifemate), and some good time with friends. I need it, but I also need you. I need a pair of eyes. I need a pair of lips. I need to feel your heat. I need to know you're there.

Have a good night. Peace be with you.

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29 May 06 Good times.

She so wants to make-out with me.

27 May 06 Small change of plan.

So it turns out that it isn't just normal bike week here in Myrtle Beach, it happens to be the Black Bike Week/Atlantic Beach Bike Fest. It's basically the South Carolina equivalent to Daytona's Black College Reunion, just with bikes. Needless to say I don't think I'll be doing the bike around and snap photos and strike up conversations with bikers routine. Or maybe I will. Who knows, I might be able to infiltrate the festivities without getting beat up. After all I can pass for latino and they are usually welcome at these sort of things.

There is a large group of bikers gathered at a country club up the road (which I bet goes over stellar with the area whiteys) that I would love to get down with. They're doing the barbecue thing, there are tons of bikes, and tons more people all just hanging out. I think I could weasel in there posing as a journalist of some sort writing a story about the local reaction to the gathering compared to the reaction the Daytona event is getting these days (the old folks don't like “them folks” around town). I can see things going well until they offer up a rack of ribs that I have to refuse. Next thing you know it's Pee-Wee in the biker bar, and I don't think Tequila would go over too well with the black biker contingent. Hmm, but I bet some Ludacris or Jay-Z would, and we all know I could handle the dancing part.

This whole scenario plays out so much better in my head. Let's see how the reality turns out.

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27 May 06 Ground Control to Major Tom.

3 Red Bulls, two bathroom breaks, one Starbuck's Double Shot, Disc 1 (of 12) of On the Road, and 487 miles later and I made it safely to Myrtle Beach. Phase one complete. Time to make some breakfast for my sister, take a snoozer, then out on the town for some rowdiness.

Have a good one.

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27 May 06 Voice Post: Fry

26 May 06 POD

“Take the money!”

“Phone a friend!”

“We want Regis back!”

26 May 06 <i>"It's the final countdown!"</i>

6.5 short hours to go, that will no doubt drag like a fat-ass in the beach
sand, and I will be off work until next Tuesday. I'm packed, I made nine
new CDs of music last night, and I bought the audio of On the
Road read by Matt Dillon.

I plan on leaving in the a.m. after taking a snoozer because that is the
best time for me to drive. I'm going to drive leisurely though, this is no
time to rush. No need for a high speed burn unless the law is on my tail.
My arrival in Myrtle Beach tomorrow will coincide with their bike week. My
sister has a bicycle so I am expecting to ride it around taking pictures of
peoples and perps that populate the area. Should be interesting. Phone
posts will be had. I switched the format to .mp3 (which is new) instead of
the OggVorbis so people can actually listen to them. What the hell format
is OggVorbis anyway? Sounds like a Douglas Adams character or something.

Should be in Wilmington Monday evening or Tuesday drinking wine with Jonas
and Misty (the other familia). Sure do wish I had a co-pilot. But, you can
wish in one hand and, well, you know the rest.

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25 May 06 <i>"It's all been a pack a lies!"</i>

You know if (when) I ever become one of those Greg Crister, Eric Schlosser, or Barbara Ehrenreich style cultural studies journalist I'm going to write a book called U R T0tt@lly H4wt: Everyone Lies on the Internet. I'd find the most fluffed up profiles on the multitude of social networking sites, dating sites, and journaling sites and then try and track down many of these people in real life and show all of you out there that you can't fucking believe all of the bullshit people say about themselves on the Internet! Ok so that probably couldn't fill an entire book, but it could at least be a good backdrop for a good road story.

You know how most people lie in bars? Well, think about how easy it is to do the same thing when they don't have that gamekiller friend standing next to them and infinite reasons to make up bullshit attributes about themselves. I'm not sure why this infuriates me so, but it does. It just pisses me off when I see people get surprised that the person they talked to on the Internet, the one that seemed so smart/hot/fun/sexy/cool, turns out to be a fucking hobbit that's more boring than a game of Skip-Bo with The Golden Girls (minus Estelle Getty of course, she was badass). I think I'm just bitter (not that bitter though, Adam), but I think I've got some wiggle room in my argument.

Meet people in the real world and use the Internet for its intended purposes: bitching about pop culture, swapping illegal music, and pr0n.

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25 May 06 Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse…

…CBS brings us 'Tuesday Night Book Club'.

Sorry folks, God has left the building.

The folks over at GalleyCat put it best:

CBS really, really wants this to be a hit. I mean, look at the way the women are posing, and no doubt the casting call was as Desperate Housewives-ish as humanly possible. The setup? Every Tuesday night, beginning on June 13, eight women get together to talk books and dish dirt (and more presumably.) But as Tvrealityworld.com reveals, cameras will chronicle the day-to-day drama encountered as the women attempt to raise their kids, maintain their households, and satisfy their husbands.

There's Cris, “The Loyal Wife,” Sara, “The Party Girl,” and other catchy one-phrase aphorisms for each of the other women in question. CBS adds that the women (who all knew each other “directly or indirectly” prior to the show's production) will “discuss everything… from sex to spouses to inner-most conflicts” during their weekly get togethers.

What's missing? Oh yeah, books. Wanna bet opening book club pick one is something like THE KITE RUNNER?

No doubt. You know I work at a bookstore and I've seen women's bookclubs. Um, they don't look like that. If they did, I'd be pulling a Bosom Buddies routine and reading chick lit books.

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25 May 06 for cat lovers.

Well that's pretty damn nifty. If it works.

Now if only they made PornSense for, well you know, when you're in the throes of an orgasm after a session and you're flailing about wildly. You don't want to smack any keys and accidentally bring up a photo of grandma or something. That'd just ruin the moment. Hmmm, TMI I think.

Credit: Joe Grossberg

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25 May 06 egg on my face.

post via email

One of my co-workers is leaving next week after having worked here for 3+
years. So you know what that means? More food of course! Sadly most of
the things brought were meat-based having been made by southern ladies and
all, but the deviled eggs and veggie dip were superb. The bourbon-marinated
cocktail sausages were tempting, until I thought about the sausage part. I
bet you could so the same thing with faux sausage and it would be almost as
good.

I contributed some smoked Gouda and artichoke pasta salad from Whole Foods,
which I wish I could have said I made myself. Top that off with chocolate
pudding pie and you've got one fat afternoon on your hands. It's a good
thing I'm so svelte, otherwise I might have to watch my waistline working
around here.

*crack*

Oh, back to work.

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