21 Jan 04 The Disaster of the Great Tongue…..

Today was spent mostly reading and doing school labs. Went to I Bar last night and was a bit disappointed. Most of the people just stood around looking at each other and those that were dancing were making a competition out of it. I think I was the only one there that was out to just have a good time. I got to watch an interesting exchange between my brother and some random girl. I saw her go over and sit down next to him and engage in some typical bar conversation. It went on for a bit until I finally saw why she approached my brother, she asked for a cigarette and then promptly left stating, “…wait, I'll be back in a second.” Now my brother is just too nice sometimes but that kind of shit just pisses me off. If you want to ask for a cigarette just ask for one, don't beat around the bush about it and certainly don't lie for one. That is just-ass maneuver made by a lame-ass person. Have some fucking balls! She wasn't even cute either, and way too much make-up. She probably had to scrape it off with a knife in order to get it all off.

Went and saw The Cooler with William H. Macy and Alec Baldwin. Good movie, albeit a bit of a ridiculous premise. No one's luck can be that bad. I really also could have done without seeing Macy's balls and ass, not appealing at all. The one thing that was a bit surprising was that this was screenwriter Frank Hannah's first time out, and he did a stupendous job. There are quite a few first-time screenwriters that are out there hitting it big with million-dollar deals on their first outing. That's going to me be me one day you know (hopefully anyway). Oh, and kudos to Ron Livingston for playing one hell of a greaseball. Livingston is the guy from Office Space, but he's not so pleasant and innocent in this movie. Glad to see that he has some range.

My brother is switching between America Idol and the Magic game. I can easily say that American Idol is one of the worst shows on the planet. I think it was soley created by people that need to feel better about themselves by watching other people being cut down. Sure it's entertaining to a degree, but are some of the slams that the judges (mainly Simon) really necessary? Now I know that some of the stuff is most likely set-up and through clever editing makes it look worse than it actually is, but is this really what the world finds interesting these days? Eh, but who am I to judge? This coming from a guy that watches a dozen movies a week, some of which he's already seen 10 times over.

Oh, here is a picture of my friend's baby, posted here mostly for 's benefit but the rest of you feel free to ogle.

Work tomorrow, sleep today. get a Trivial Pursuit crew together for tomorrow night. Or Cranium, I'm jonesing for some boardgame action.
Take care all, good night and good day.

Related Links

21 Jan 04 Once upon a midnight dreary…..

Went to I Bar.

Haters haters haters galore, but still had a good time. They can't get me down, the negative jack-offs.

See you all tomorrow.

Love to all.

Related Links

20 Jan 04 The state of the George Bush's Onion…..

So each and every year the President gives his State of the Union address, and this year was no exception. Now I caught the address late because I forgot about it but I got the synopsis and cliff notes. Of course he had to mention the 'War on Terror' and try and justify his heinous acts. The first horrific statement was his obvious declaration that he and the Republicans would most certainly renew the Patriot Act. For those of you not familiar with the Patriot Act, it basically gives the Federal Government the right to violate all of our rights granted to us by the Constitution as long as they can link it to terrorism. They can bug your phone, search your car, search your house, even detain you without telling you why. All they have to do is suspect you of terrorism. All right!

I caught the address at the end, which is when I heard three of the most ludacris plans of action to pull our nation from the fire.

1. $23 Million dollars to enforce random drug-testing in high schools.

2. Double federal funding for abistinence programs in schools.

3. “Preserving” the sanctity of marriage by using the Constitutional process.

So that is Yosemite Bush's plan to rescue our children. Random drug-testing in high schools, scaring children away from sex, and teaching America how to discriminate people for who they are and loving one another. For Bush to even mention drugs is a joke. I'm damn sure that if they randomed him in high school he would have been kicked out in an instant. My favorite quote, “To help children make right choices, they need good examples.” This coming from a former alcoholic and coke user. Way to go George!

Abstinence in schools!? Are you fucking kidding me? What happens when you tell a kid not to do something? They fucking do it! To teach kids that abstinence is the only choice is complete and utter ignorance and denial. Kids are going to have sex. You know it, I know it, hell even Michael Jackson knows it (Ohhhhh!, sorry I couldn't resist). We need to show young people how to protect themselves when they are going to have sex, because no matter what they will. Talk to them, educate them, and answer their questions. You'd be surprised how well kids will respond if you just treat them like the human beings that they are, instead of blobs of clay to be forcefully molded into what they think they should be. I am amazed that this is still and issue and that people are so afraid of proper sex education in high school. I had a speech class in college and I did a speech on this very issue, and I had the same stance on it then. Well, suffice it to say, it didn't get a warm response. Everyone thought I was crazy and all the parents in the room said the same thing, “…if we teach our kids about sex they're going to go and do it.” No shit, but you know what, they are going to do it anyway. Hell, they're probably taking on multiple partners right now! But at least if you talk to them about STD's, condoms, and safe sex in general they'll make the proper decision when the time comes. Last example of what improper sex education does, I work with a 32 year-old woman (who get's around I hear, like a record woo!) that thinks you can ONLY get AIDS from intercourse. End of discussion.

The whole 'sanctity' of marriage thing is just bullshit and you all know it. How can he sit there with that smug look on his face talking about the sanctity of marriage when shows like Who Wants to Marry A Millionaire, Joe Millionaire, and the various Bachelor/Bachelorette shows are all now in their 3rd and 4th seasons. He wants a Consitutional Amendment that states that marriage is only legal between a man and a woman. Who gives a fuck!? People are dying in the streets, kids are starving, schools are falling apart, but we're going to make damn sure Bob can't marry Jim in fucking Hawaii because it will destroy our country. Give me a fucking break.

Check out the picture though, how evil does Dick Cheney look? I swear during the speech I saw his hands pulling on some strings. Where was the other puppet master, Donald Rumsfeld? He must have to do a show in Vegas or something. Also, when they showed a couple of wide shots of the crowd did you notice anything peculiar? That's right, ALL WHITE PEOPLE! Well, there were a couple of black and asian people in the crowd, but whenever they showed them in a close up they looked rather pissed.

I am really disgusted. I need to make sure to vote. I can't let this man be in power any more. I urge you all to find a candidate that you believe in and support them, I'm still searching for mine. Right now I favor Howard Dean, Wesley Clark, and Dennis Kuicinich. In the coming weeks I will try and do a little Bio on each candidate so everyone can see who is out there. I'll try to be as unbiased as possible, maybe.

Sorry for the incredibly long post, but hey, I'm allowed and I don't feel like using a cut.

Ok, that is all I can say about that. For the full text of the speech go HERE.

I need a beer and some music. Good night all, take care of thineselves.

Related Links

20 Jan 04 Asian humor for the fortune-cookie intolerant…..

Also the best use of PhotoShop I've seen in a long time. Enjoy.

Related Links

20 Jan 04 jalapeño suppository steering mechanism

Stayed up late last night watching Anything Else and The Quiet American, not bad movies. Anything Else is a Woody Allen movie so of course it has great dialogue and the characters were cool. Jason Biggs is actually pretty cool outside of his American-Pie role. And, even though she is great looking, you will really find yourself hating Christina Ricci during this movie. I think I need to stop watching so many romance style movies, it's starting to be a bit depressing. Eh, oh well, they're just movies. The Quiet American wasn't bad, but it wasn't great. Michael Caine is cool of course, and Brendan Frasier actually does a good job playing a rather cardboard character. The whole “war is hell” theme is growing a bit tiresome, although it isn't crammed down your throat it is quite prevalent. A decent murder mystery for those interested. Oh, and it's based on the novel by Graham Greene in case that matters to anyone, probably not. I may go and see The Cooler later. For some reason I love movies set in casinos.

Woke up early and cleaned the bathroom, bedroom, and living room as they were all growing a bit frat house-like.

All right. Off to the bank, school, haircut, pick up Rollins tickets, and the bookstore maybe. Catch all of you strangers later.

Peace and love to all.

Related Links

20 Jan 04 ?

It's all so fucking hilarious.

Good night fuckers!

19 Jan 04 Read it and weep…..

The best thing I've read all day was is this quote from Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson.

“It is different with the DVD version. People watch it at home. They can lay on the couch or spread the experience over two or three nights. That is the amazing thing with DVD. It gives a whole new dynamic and I can assure you that the DVD version of Return of the King will be longer than 4 hours and 50 min.”

I can hardly wait.

Ok, back to more studying stuff. Later.

Related Links

19 Jan 04 dancing spit on the griddle…..

So I go out to I Bar and see some old friends. Cool. We drink. We dance to bad 80's music. And we have a good all around time. As we are leaving and going our seperate ways I am asked, “So hey, why did you fuck so-and-so's ex-wife (name hidden)?” My response…….WHAT!? Apparently the news, or should I say rumor, going around my old group of friends is that I had sex with a friend of mine's ex-wife. I can honestly say that I have done nothing of the sort. ONE night I hung out with this woman to fix her computer for her and that is all. It seems the tale got blown out of proportion.

Now I have done some bad things in my past but never have I had sex with someone that “belonged” to someone else, as far as I knew. It is awful to think that people out there think that I have wronged someone in such a way. It is even worse that the people in my circle of 'friends' chose to just believe it rather than hearing it from the source. Do they really think that I am that type of person? Do I come off as someone who would do such a thing? Man that makes me feel like a scumbag that my 'friends' would think those things before getting the full story.

FUCK!!

Well, at least one chick told me that I looked 'sexy' in my hat tonight. That boosted the self-esteem a bit, even though I can't stand talking to females in bars and just find it an incredible waste of time. It was a still a good booster to the ol' ego. But then again, what do randoms know? Thanks random chick, and sorry I didn't follow up with any conversation as I knew it would be useless and go nowhere.

So, it's back home alone…AHHHHHH! And with no burglars to fight off, what a drag.
Take care all, I love and adore the lot of you.

PEACE!!

Related Links

18 Jan 04 A lament for the heartless and handful of popcorn jellie-bellies….

Another day at work. Some mild drama happened but I don't want to bore you with that because, well, it's just boring that's all. If I had a cooler job I would surely regale you with tales of great and amazing things. But, I don't and so I won't.

Came home and watched American Wedding which was funnier than I thought. I actually almost shed a tear at the end, not because the movie itself was moving, but because it got me thinking about marriage and kids and what not. Actually, because of all of the sentimental romantic movies I've been watching, along with seeing friends in love, having kids, etc., I've been a bit of a romantic sap lately. Thinking (a bit too much I might add) about relationships past, present (or lack thereof), and future. In particular I have been thinking about one past relationship, but it is probably not the one you are thinking of. I've been thinking about the one relationship that I, yes I fucked up. It ended because of my selfishness, blindness, and just your basic young-man jack-assery. So then I get to thinking, what if that was the one and I fucked it all up? Hmmm. I guess there is no use in crying over spilled crap eh? I suppose that is just the hopeless romantic in me showing his true colors.

Ok, enough of that sissy shit. Man-mode now, grrrrr! Time to go drink beer, scratch myself, and watch other men beat each other up and scratch themselves. I AM MAN, HEAR ME BORE!…..you. Sorry I forgot, I don't really get into watching sports that much, except for the occasional Magic game or two.

I need some barley and hops style therapy. Any suggestions?

Take care for now.

Related Links

17 Jan 04 I relentlessly desire your custard tongue between my eyelids….

So wouldn't you know it. It happened at work again today damn it. So there I am talking about my vacation and movies I saw and my friends baby and suddenly, with no prior prompting, someone decides to say aloud, “Hey, have you seen Bad Boys II yet?” A shudder and a gag later I am trapped in yet another conversation about how “awesome” and “amazing” this movie was, and how cool all of the explosions and car chases were. Are you fucking serious!? Then, the icing on the shit-cake of bad movie talk, someone actually said the word Oscar. I shit you not. Oscar!? On a Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer action movie! Has the whole world gone mad!? I feel like I'm fucking taking crazy pills or something. I had to just smile and listen to the wonderful discussion of Martin Lawrence's witty jokes and banter that he didn't even write himself. Joy!!

They are filming an episode of ABC's According To Jim on board the Disney Magic. It is so ridiculous when even the most minor of celebrities come on board people act so, well not so much star-struck, but just ignorant. Example: When the VIP luggage for Jim Belushi and his family came and we were x-raying it, one of my more astute co-workers picked up a car seat and declared (and I quote), “Hey look, they have kids too.” Well holy fucking shit! Who'd have thought that actors might have gone and had some kids? I thought actors were grown in a lab somewhere and denied the ability to procreate like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. Call Nobel, we've got a genius on our hands people! Oh, and when most of the principle actors arrived they were standing outside the terminal you'd had thought Jesus Christ Son Of God himself was standing on the sidewalk doing the whole water-to-wine bit. Work paused, jaws dropped, and I swear if you listened closely you could hear the sound of a hundred rusty gears coming to a halt. Marvelous! Man, Mr. Belushi is really starting to get fat. I think he needs to call Atkin's or something. Kevin Nash of WWF/E came off of the boat today too. Nothing of significance happened with him except the Jamaican guy we work with yelling to him, “Hey, Big Sexy!” in that funny accent. Stupendous!

Ok, enough of me. Sorry no funny pictures, comics, or links right now.

Take care. Peace and love niggas!

-FryGuy

P.S. What's up with Boomspeed.com? My pics and background aren't working. Grrr.

Related Links

16 Jan 04 Bush in 30 Seconds….

I leave you with something educational and entertaining tonight. Recently MoveOn.org held a contest for film makers to do short, 30-second ads that summed up how we (well the intelligent one's anyway) feel about Bush. The contest was sponsored by Moby, and judges included Jack Black, James Carville, Margaret Cho, Al Franken, Janeane Garofalo, Michael Moore, Tony Shaloub, Russel Simmons, Michael Stipe, Gus Van Sant, and Eddie Vedder. Some of the entries were eye-opening, while others were fucking hilarious. Well, the winners have been announced.

Enjoy, and let these open your eyes.

Good night kids.
Peace and love to all,

-FryGuy

Related Links

16 Jan 04 Marked by the musk of misery…..

So I went by school today and got my new course materials. I decided to go ahead and delve into web design and get a CIW certification and then onto the MCIW site manager cert. I know that many who are already in that field have warned me about getting myself into a flooding river, but that is my choice. I know I will enjoy doing this ten times more than Oracle Database Administration or Cisco Networking, even though the money is way better in those fields. Also, the market may be a bit full in Orlando, but I don't plan on staying here forever. The projected location….Asheville, NC. From what I hear it is great there, tons of bands and shows go through there, and it is a growing city on par with Orlando just without all of the theme park nonsense.

The plan is for us to move there and try to start our own business, either the franchise bread store or our own DVD rental place that would specialize in indie and foreign films. We are all leaning towards the latter but it is just a much bigger risk and requires more money. The DVD store would be sort of like Stardust Video but better. Jonas' baby, Jude, was born last night so who knows how plans might change within the next few weeks.

While driving today I saw something a bit strange. There was a bum, or panhandler depending on the region, standing in the median with a sign that read, Help, trying to get a ride home. Need bus ticket $50 short. Now yesterday I saw a different bum on the corner of OBT and Sand Lake Road with a very similar sign. Looking into the eyes of these guys, they didn't seem like bums. They had the looked of a bored high schooler putting in a double-shift at McDonald's, down but not out. So it occured to me, what if all of these guys weren't bums, but just professional panhandlers that all worked for some sort of guild? After a hard 8-10 hour shift of collecting money from passers-by they creep around the corner to their Merceded SLK 500 parked in a discreet location. They drive home, stopping by the YMCA to clean up, and then cruise home to their downtown apartment. Each day they scope out a new spot, get properly grunged up and hit the streets looking for handouts from all the poor suckers with a heart. All in a day's work for a professional bum I guess. So I guess the next time you see a guy with a cardboard sign standing by an on-ramp, look around to see if there is a Mercedes or BMW cleverly parked somewhere nearby. Who knows, that guy with all of the grease, dirt, and hair on him that smells like shit could be a guy that's managed to get rich by outsmarting the rest of us.

Or not.

Good day to you sir.

Related Links

16 Jan 04 If you flash me, I'll flash you back….

Some great little Flash movies to brighten your day.

Ok, enough flashing fun. Get back to work slackers.

Related Links

16 Jan 04 The Great American Weirdo……

I posted a link to these earlier but I don't think anyone caught them. So here they are again, G.I. Joe!…

EDIT: Ok, I checked the links in the preview window and they worked. When I click on them in the actual LJ they don't. Any suggestions? Doesn't matter, I don't feel like correcting them, but they work if you copy and paste them (right-click—->copy shortcut) into another window. Hmmm, kooky ass LJ.

Click.
Watch.
Laugh.
Expire.

Love,
-Fry

Related Links

16 Jan 04 Mrs. Robinson, why you're trying to seduce me……aren't you?

So I stayed in and, surprise, watched another movie. This time an oldie but goodie, The Graduate. The movie that caused thousands of young men to start sizing up their friends moms, and is the origin of the MILF fetish. Really though, this is a great movie about all of the awkwardness and indecisiveness that occurs post-college. Not that I have any real experience in that, but the movie does a really good job of portraying it. Dustin Hoffman plays a great young, neurotic, 21 year-old.

P.S. Oh, and the final scene in Wayne's World 2 becomes much funnier after you see this movie. Check it.

Well, due to a pot of Colombian coffe I don't see myself going to sleep anytime soon. So expect some more lame posts and nonsense.

Any suggestions for some sleep?

Related Links